Wrap yourself in metal, run current through you, that’s one way. But how to be a magnet for the people around you, so that people are attracted to you and most importantly they stick to you, be with you, enjoy your company.
I will tell you my story. When I was younger (I am still young, but younger than I am right now) I did not have friends, not a single one. I remember sitting alone during school recesses, sometimes even crying about the fact that I was alone. It was painful, seriously. As I grew up, I started making friends, started having people around me, but still I could not create a significant position of mine. People tended to ignore me easily, or even forget my very existence. That was even more depressing.
But then I researched, observed and finally came out with a few very effective tips that actually make you a human magnet.
1.Your mood, outlook and state of mind matter A LOT!
If you are out trying to make new friends, talk to new people, your MOS matters a lot, seriously.
Your Mood should be good before meeting anyone. A bad mood means bad talking, and trust me, this doesn’t get you friends. Before you go and talk to someone new, or even to someone you have been knowing for a long time, just smile to yourself. Remember, smiling is the most powerful gesture, it can stimulate the brain in a way even coffee and chocolate cannot.
Smiling induces the release of Endorphins which are neurotransmitters that make us feel more happy and less stressed (because it reduces the level of Cortisol). They are even released when you fake a smile, because the brain is not very efficient in differentiating between a real and fake smile.
When you smile to yourself, you force yourself to be more joyous, more happy and this lifts up your mood. Go talk to people now and tell me did they like your company?
Outlook. Your view of a person matters a lot. When you have a good view of a person, you tend to be good to them, but when you have a bad perspective about the other person, you are bad to them.
We at times tend to notice the bad things more than the good things. This lowers down the number of people we talk to to a handful. If you want more people to like you, remember you will have to like more people too. It’s a tit-for-tat relationship. When forming opinions about someone new, try to notice the good things and disregard the bad ones. Remember, no human being is perfect, we all have flaws.
If you have a negative view of someone, try to notice the positive things in them. You will find it easier to talk to that person now.
Your state of mind is also an important factor to consider. A positive and optimistic state of mind is more attractive. Remember when I asked you to make a gratitude diary? Trust me, that really helps in making your mindset more positive.
Your positivity and good thoughts gives other people positive vibes, and believe you me, people like it.
If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely
– Roald Dahl
2. TIB to keep a conversation going.
T for Timing
Don’t go barging in, desperate to start a conversation if they are not in a good mood. Just see it this way, would you receive someone well if they just come in and try to strike a conversation with you when you have just been fired from your job, or had had a fight with someone? No, of course not.
See if it is the right time to talk to someone, if yes, go on. If no, then baby you just wait.
I for Identification.
You need to identify what they want. Are they in for a casual conversations, or do they want something flirty? Would a sarcastic comment do or a serious conversation?
Try starting with some small talk, a ‘hey’ or a ‘hi’ would do. Then test there tone, and I bet you if your sixth sense is truly functional, you will realize what kind of conversation they want at that moment.
Body language is also important. Are they willing to talk to you? If there feet are pointed away from you while you talk to them, no they are not interested in talking to you, and otherwise you can try your charm.
B for be relatable.
“Me too” is a word everyone loves to here, because they feel like they have found someone to relate to. If they find you relatable, they will automatically be attracted.
Once you have identified their emotions, their type of conversations, you have to search for “me too” situations. Have you been troubled by a teacher the same way the other person has been? There you are with something to talk about, and with something to relate about. I bet such things can keep the conversation going.
Besides relatable situations, try and be relatable in the emotional aspect too. Try to feel a matter with the same depth that the other person is feeling it with. Try to maintain emotional synchronisation and the other person will already start finding a friend in you.
3. Talk the Talk
Talk the way they like it. A diplomat would like diplomatic talks, a fashionista would like fashion talks, a gossip-monger would like gossip. Talk to them accordingly, but remember, don’t sacrifice your comfort zone for this.
If you are not comfortable gossiping, don’t. If you don’t want fashion talks, don’t.
Remember that you do not have to sacrifice your interests completely in order to make conversation with someone else unless it’s important.
Don’t ever, ever try to change yourself to please others, that is the worse thing you can do, and this way you don’t attract people, rather you repel them. They’ll just use you for their profit and leave you behind. Trust me, I have been a victim of such situations.
Stress, anxiety and depression is caused when we are living to please others.
– Paulo Coelho
The self- respect – respect others formula
- Don’t do anything that shatters you, but don’t do anything that shatters others.
- Don’t lower your reputation, but stay humble.
- Be there for yourself, but do not forget to be there for others too.
- Respect your ideas and opinions, but respect others ideas and opinions too.
- Polish your manners and etiquettes, but don’t forget to be mannered and etiquetted to others too.
- Make yourself a better person, but don’t forget to make the world better too.
4. Don’t just talk, LISTEN.
You don’t need to blabber just about yourself, listen to other people, understand them, let them talk.
Sometimes people just need to vomit out there frustrations, opinions, confusions. If you listen to them patiently, they will come back to you, because they will feel like they have a bond with you, where both of you are there for each other. This is how friendship is created.
A good listener is very rare to find, so be that rare creature, and you will for sure be alluring.
5. Don’t forget your basic virtues.
Be kind, be humble, be helpful, we were taught all these in elementary school right?
You need to practice them even now, especially to enhance your magnetism.
Be kind and considerate to other people.
Be humble and grounded.
Be helpful, do small favours for them if you can, or maybe grant an advice.
Your virtues are what makes you unique, your virtues are what define you, they are what make you beautiful, so practice them and keep them with you always.
Be in general virtuous, and you will be happy
– Benjamin Franklin
6. Be happy yourself to make others happy.
Unless you are not happy inside, you will not be able to radiate happiness, and this way you will repel people. Remember when I said your MOS matters a lot? So you need to work in order to maintain a good MOS.
Sleep enough, eat healthy, exercise daily – the recipe to be happier in life. Your physical tiredness and weariness has a lot to do with your inner self. So don’t let the monsters of outside suppress your happiness of inside.
Your past is gone, your future is yet to come, so Carpe Diem – Learn form your past, but don’t regret about it. Work for your future, but don’t worry about it. It’s your present moment that matters, work to make that better, and trust me you’ll be happier.
Gratitude is the key to a happy life – Be grateful and be happy
Throw your negativities in a bin – Meditate, do yoga, listen to music, do anything you can, but never let negativity conquer your mind. Take time and find out what makes you feel positive, maybe its reading, dancing, drawing, writing etcetera. Now whenever you fell low and negative, just practice these.
Make others happy to be happy yourself – Maybe a small effort of yours can make someone happy. You can teach a poor kid, or give away some spare clothes to him. Remember, when you give happiness is when you get happiness. The priceless smile you bring on someone else’s face is what bring a priceless smile on your face, and that is what you require to be a magnet
So here are a few tips that can make you a people’s magnet. If you want to connect with people, establish friendship, build new relationship, then go through these tips, or rather advices, and if they help you then do tell me.